Trust
by Ayushi95
Summary: Alex's life and her suffering after Piper left her alone when her mother died.


**Written something for this show for the first time; haven't proof-read so I'm really sorry if there are any big mistakes. Please let me know **** and thanks for reading.**

Trust. It was something Alex had learnt to do over a long period of time and with great difficulty. The only person she ever trusted in her life was her mother. After her high school, she travelled and made friends, flings, relationships; but trusted no one. She just had one rule in her life; trust nobody and don't break anybody's trust. She could be a hardcore bitch but not break someone's trust. She knew the value of it because she wasn't capable of trusting.

And then she broke this one rule for the blonde she met at the bar. For her the blonde was nothing more to her than a way to bring in more supply of her drugs. She saw in the blonde her need for adventure and fun but she still doubted if the blonde was ready to carry around drugs. But anyway, she still went on with her and didn't even realise when she had fallen for the blonde.

"Piper" the blonde's name left her lips and with that more tears and anger flowed through her eyes. She had left her when she needed her the most. Her mom had passed away. Who the fuck would leave someone when their mom has passed away? She hit her hand hard on the wall again and again; punishing herself for breaking her one rule, for trusting Piper, for loving her, for caring about her, for trusting, loving and caring about someone else than her mother.

The walls and cheeks stained red by her blood. She didn't care about anything anymore. The two most precious persons in her life had left her. One, she couldn't blame and the other, she could hate and want to destroy. She was left all alone in her misery, no friends, no family, no...girlfriend. Piper had been her rock and support for so long that she didn't know how to deal with problems without her. She hated how she still wanted Piper to hold her as she mourned about her mother.

"BITCH!" she screamed in agony and threw the glass of scotch at the wall, on her blood stains.

She rose up to her feet, her vision blur with tears and head dizzy. She walked towards the broken glass and picked one up. Blood ran out of her arm as she pierced it into the skin and dragged it down. The pain was intoxicating, felt deserving; deserving for the wrongs that she did to her mother, for not taking care of her during her last days, for trusting Piper, for breaking her own rules. She pulled out the glass and looked at the scar that ran down her arm horizontally. Her lips curled up at the ends in a wicked smile and cut the still healing scar that she made a few days ago. It pained and she liked it, it was like a drug and she went on with it.

She threw the glass away when she felt drained out, when she couldn't go on making more scars for the day. Blood stains were left behind by her in her whole apartment, like someone was murdered. She didn't care to clean neither the stains nor her wounds.

With even more dizziness she walked up to her drawer where she stored the devil, her drugs. She had promised herself that she won't do drugs. Another promise she broke because of Piper. She spread it all out on the table and picked up the straw. Placing it between her nostril and the drugs she took it all in, dragged her breath more than her lungs could allow, took in more than she ever did. Even in her high state she knew what she was doing, she knew what it'll lead to and still she went on and on.

She lit the candle and heated some of it. Sucked it into her injection and readied her arm for it. She wasn't going to stop tonight till the time she wouldn't stop breathing. She pierced the needle into her arm and rushed it all into her veins. Her head rose up in the pleasure and her balance lost. She fell down to the ground, knocking off the candle and the candle burning the curtains with its fire, the curtains burning anything and everything that was flammable around it. She lay there with her eyes half open. She knew she had to get up and run but she couldn't find the energy to do it anymore. She couldn't find the panic and fear of death anymore. She lay there and closed her eyes, knowing nothing can be done about it anymore.

* * *

The bright white light hit her eyes hard. She squinted and tried to raise her hand and block out the light but couldn't. Her head felt like it would burst with pain. She didn't understand or feel anything. She didn't know where she was, if she was alive or dead, she didn't know what was going to happen. She couldn't think hear or see anything, neither could she feel her own body. Where was she?

After long difficult minutes and going in and out of consciousness, her brain was capable enough to fairly function her body. With her still blurry but clearer vision she looked down at her hand, it was tied down to the bed with something silver shiny thing...handcuff? why was she on a bed?

She put her head back down on the pillow and pushed it into the pillow. A sudden rush of adrenaline coursed through her and she sat down on her bed. All her senses rushed back with her head pounding with the amount of adrenaline and panic.

"Mom... Mom... Piper..." she looked around blankly and looked at the women who rushed inside and tried to calm her down. Who told her it going to be okay and that she needs to calm down, a woman held her hand and rubbed her back, helping her to come back to reality. And slowly but steadily she started to calm down, she lied back down on the bed and tried to straighten out her head again.

A hand softly ran through her hair as she kept her eyes closed. The feeling was so soft, she felt safe again. "Piper" she moaned and opened her eyes. But she was nowhere to be found. She was looking straight at a woman in blue scrubs. She could hear constant beeps, beeps like of a heart monitor. She looks around and back down at her hands. She tries to register it all in her hand and solve it. She was in a hospital room. She could hear the nurse telling her about everything and how they found her. But she hardly registered anything.

There's still dizziness clouded over her head and she knows it's going to be a difficult process to recover from whatever was going on. The more she tried, the stronger the headache became. So she finally gave up and went off to rest again. She would figure everything out later. She didn't care about how she ended up here or what's going to come next or what were the handcuffs about or what had happened before she came into this place. So she rested her head on the pillow and decided to give it a rest.

* * *

The next time she woke up, she didn't know how much time had passed, it all seemed new to her, the feeling of being handcuffed to the hospital bed, the antiseptic smell, her head was out in a daze. She knew everything that was going on around her but couldn't register anything, she couldn't feel anything, neither could she think about anything. She felt so completely empty from inside. Like nothing existed inside.

Seconds, minutes and hours passed on and she just lied down like that the whole time. Didn't say anything nor did she respond to the doctors. She didn't care who was doing what, she had lost all her will power, her energy, her adrenaline, her wish to live, her soul, her own self. She didn't feel like she had a reason to stay alive anymore. She turned her head towards her pillow and rested it again.

* * *

The door closed behind her back and she was bound inside the walls of the Litchfield Prison; charged for 13 years under drug dealing. Somehow this felt good, felt like her life will be on static. She could at last stop running and hurting herself, felt like she could at last fall down and maybe not soft, warm and comforting hands but at least someone would be there to catch her, felt like she could let go of everything and just be left alone. She was clean and off drugs but her will to live and feel like the Alex she used to be was still a long way to go.

She had never thought in her life that some girl could do this to her, have this kind of an effect on her. That she would lose her whole life because she left. She would lose herself with losing that girl. She had climb up the stairs to self confidence again. It had taken her years to climb them previously and she stayed at the top for years and then Piper came in and took the place of those steps, became her support and left her when she needed her the most.

She didn't know if she was ready for a new start, if she will ever want to live again, if she will ever be able to forget Piper, if she'll ever be able to love someone again, if she'll ever be able to trust someone again. But she did know that she would just let things flow now. She wouldn't try to change and bend things, she would just let them flow, let things happen the way it would happen, she wouldn't care about it.

**Hope you liked it and hope there were no big or major mistakes grammatically or anyhow (Don't know if they had told us how many years Alex was charged for). If you want me to continue then just let me know ;)**

**Thanks and review :D **


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